"Let me lend a machete to your intellectual thicket."
*
"Whenever I feel like I'm going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese."
*
"I can run like a wildebeest. In fact, I once raced a wildebeest... and won."
*
"Jack Sparrow––I've come to find the man I love."
"I'm deeply flattered son, but my first and only love is the sea."
*
"I once knew a pirate who lost both arms and an eye."
"Really, what did you call him then?"
"Larry."
*
"Now Emma, why didn't you ask me to submit a riddle?"
"Mr. Knightley, your entire personality is a riddle. I thought you overqualified."
*
"*crosses self* Witchcraft!"
"Actually, Your Reverence, I believe it's because hot air rises, overcoming the gravitational force of––witchcraft."
*
"*Inga speaking German*"
"No German in this church! ...Yes?"
"Martin Luther was German. Ha! German!"
*
"Time to scheiße, or get off the crapper!"
*
"Do you not know that in the Service, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?"
*
"Since we're not immortal no more we gotta take care of our immortal souls!"
"You know you can't read."
"It's the Bible. You get credit for trying."
"Pretendin' to read the Bible's a lie!"
***
Oh, I have plenty more. These are just the tip of the iceberg. Any sound familiar? There a few Jackisms in there, yes.